11:30 pm (gotta be up in 5 hours)

Another sleepless night..

its terrible how easily you let yourself slip back into the shitty side of life..
when you recap the day, is it mostly all the times something made you laugh out loud
or smile uncontrollably

or is it more like, when your recapping there's a tiny violin in the background singing
to how pathetic you're feeling (im head bobbing to the beat right now)

Maybe its just inner influences, energy level, lack of serotonin in the brain, or some other hidden reason you cant pinpoint.

I want to be that person who is always looking at everything objectively, to be able to walk outside my body, my emotions, my state of mind and just deduce what's really going on.

but dammit thats a lot harder than i want to admit (who needs to win half the battle anyway)

EMOTIONS: longing, missing, dwelling, sleep deprived